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Dear Dad – She’s Pregnant

A father passing by his son’s bedroom was astonished to see that his bed was nicely made and everything was picked up.

Then he saw, propped up prominently on the pillow, an envelope that was addressed to “Dear Dad.”

With the worst premonition, he opened the envelope and started reading the letter:

“Dear Dad,

It is with great regret and sorrow that I’m writing you. I had to elope with my new girlfriend because…

I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you. I have been finding real passion with Stacy, and she is so nice.

But I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing, tattoos, tight motorcycle clothes, and the fact that she is much older than I am. But it’s not only the passion, Dad, she’s pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy together. She owns a trailer in the woods and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter. We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn’t really hurt anyone. We’ll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people that live nearby. In the meantime, we will pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so Stacy can get better. She deserves it.

Don’t worry, Dad. I’m 15 and I know how to take care of myself. Someday I’m sure that we will be back to visit so that you can get to know your grandchildren.

Your Son,


P.S. Dad, none of the above is true. I’m over at Tommy’s house. My report card is on my desk and just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than this report card. I love you. Call me when it’s safe to come home.

~ Author Unknown ~

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